Whatever You Do, Don't Run

Peter Allison gives us the guide's-eye view of living in the bush, confronting the world's fiercest terrain of wild animals and, most challenging of all, managing herds of gaping tourists. Passionate for the animals of the Kalahari, Allison works as a top safari guide in the wildlife-rich Okavango Delta. As he serves the whims of his wealthy clients, he often has to stop the impulse to run as far away from them as he can, as these tourists are sometimes more dangerous than a pride of lions. No one could make up these outrageous-but-true stories: the young woman who rejected the recommended safari-friendly khaki to wear a more fashionable hot-pink ensemble; the lost tourist who was drunk, half-naked, and a member of the British royal family; Allison establishing a real friendship with one of the continent's most vicious animals; the Japanese tourist who requested a repeat performance of Allison being charged by a lion so he could videotape it; and the crazy night in the wild after blowing a tire on a tour bus, which revealed that Allison has as much good-natured scorn for himself. The author's humor is exceeded only by his love and respect for the animals, and his goal is to limit any negative exposure to humans by planning trips that are minimally invasive—unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way!

Peter Allison is originally from Sydney, Australia. His safaris have been featured in National Geographic, Conde Nast Traveler, and on television programs such as Jack Hanna's Animal Adventures. He travels frequently to speaking appearances, and splits most of his time between Botswana, Sydney, and San Francisco.

A hilarious, highly original collection of essays based on the Botswana "only food runs!" In the tradition of Bill Bryson, a new writer brings us the lively adventures and biting wit of an African safari guide.